Beneath The Rose
DeviantArt: Beneath The Rose
[March 06, 2021. 19:02. On the roof…phasing in and out…Listening to music…Thinking…]
I am not sure how I am coping with my loneliness. Today feels like yesterday. Maybe exactly like a week back, cozy…reading shit from the interwebs.
Maybe today was a month ago. Maybe a year back except there’s no one right now. “Now” might have been a different future. . but it feels like a broken past…
It’s a weekend..yet it feels like any other day here in my mind-cave. I rewatched Avengers Age of Ultron. Watched the season finale of wandavision. Read some threads off the Hacker News…and a few pages from 2 current books: The myth of Sisyphus and Ways of Seeing… Also slept for an hour or so.
This is absurd. I have no idea where my life is drifting…or what my life is drifting at…
Listening to the “All I’ve Ever Known” by Bahamas… I just wish this river doesn’t end at a waterfall now. I don’t have energy to take that fall…let alone no resistance…
Thinking about grad school is also giving me anxiety again. Only 3 colleges I’ve applied to..and I guess I don’t have even 1% of hope..
Karen Dalton’s Take Me hits hard right now. I’m on the roof swaying with the beat…as the breezes beat my hair…a plane flies… Its destination is fixed. How I wish mine was too… As the light flickers in the distance….fades away…I guess I have to fade away now… Oh the irony of “now” juxtaposed with this mind-cave…
Micah P Hinsons’ “Beneath The Rose” resonates strongly…
It is said
That you cannot be found
Under rocks or broken skull
I will lay down
I will lay down
I can be found beneath the rose
Beneath the rose
Alone