I wish I wasn’t so lonely
Like these words on my palm
Desperate to grasp something out there
Flickering behind those feelings
Stuck on the ceiling, like a heartbeat
Suspended in an eternal confusion.
I wish I wasn’t so lonely
Like an ephemeral dream I forgot to capture
With words waking me up from mind eruption
The clock strikes 2 am in the morning
And a lonely playlist just sits there right beside me
A lonely playlist has a lonely song
A lonely song speaks to me in the language I can touch:
“Hey you. Yes you lonely heart!
I am not that lonely like you
For a group of alphabets surround me.”
To which a lonely neuron in my brain replies:
“Yes, my dear word.
It’s just a game
For you won’t matter if I am not here”
To which the alphabet P replies:
“Pretentious. Pompous. Precarious.
Pineapples Please! Pumpkin-pies.
Parrots play…“
To which the letter C agrees:
“Couldn’t care, you crying carcass!”
Just when the lonely heartbeat ends the discussion:
“You lonely things.
You are beautifully juxtaposed with my vibration.
A pulse dies, you die too
Salvation.”
A Silence complies.
No-one speaks.
Emptiness bashes in:
“Broken bones, unsatisfied dreams
Crooked nose, my breath screams
Like these feelings stuck on the ceiling”
Another Silence shoots a lonely heart.
12 am someday.
Yet another lonely playlist.
And beautiful guitar melodies.
In lonely hours,
I think again about my loneliness and ask to my heart:
“Dear heart!
How are you holding up?”
To which the letter P adds:
“Pitiful. Pathetic. Don’t act tough”
The heart sits there, thinking
Thinking. Thinking. Pulsing.
Meanwhile, a group of 7 alphabets surround another Silence.
The letter S smirks:
“Sup…!”
The letter L gazes back:
“Love is the answer”
N sits there looking at the Silence:
“Nothing… :) “
Finally, the Heart replies:
“It’s a bit lonely out here.
Thanks for the companionship dear.
Sometimes rough.
Sometimes tough.
But it’s just
‘right’ enough”
The Heart gives an enchanting gaze to me and adds:
“Weren’t you lonely?”
12:01 am.
Just as when the guitar solo has its final show-off,
The Emptiness, the Silence and the Heart shelter on my lap.
I tap them on their head
Put them on the bed
Whisper quietly:
“Yes. Yes I am.”