manifesting love

For someone whom I met for a month+ but feels I have known her my entire life. Love is what the heart feels. :)

“Love”
Don’t ask me what love looks like.
It’s all right, it hasn’t touched me yet
For I have loved you a hundred times
Among the stars that fail to shine
For you,
In between life and death
I wished and could only wish you my life
My heart doesn’t beat much
Like it used to
I have grown old and cold
Stuck in between what “love” means, what it meant
and what it is meaning

Don’t ask me the color of “love”
It doesn’t speak much
For I have loved you a hundred times
Among the waves that wished to meet the shore
Kissing, as each grain of sand disperses my feelings
You stood there, trying to get hold of yourself
I floated under the dark night, wishing to hold you

Don’t ask me what shape the “love” is.
It’s a missile I wish could detonate my soul
Drawing out the most beautiful fractals
Of our emotions
It’s a tree I wish I could plant in your heart
A flower
Like how bees carry pollens of my words to you
Tiny fireflies shimmering
That shines a glaze
A drip of my emotions inside the honeycomb
Don’t ask me what shape the love is

Don’t ask me where love resides
I wish it were in your heart
In the sleeves you carry
A little weird but fiery
You sent me a beam of positivity
It melted my heart
Like some witchcraft
I surrendered
Little tipsy and a little smokey
A puff of my emotions
I floated among the winding texts
My heart pressed
Against the throbbing of your call
I waited for my soul to fall
For you among the stars
That doesn’t shine for us

Don’t ask me why love exists
For I am just a traveler in your heart
Navigating the vast landscape
Of your smiles
And anxiety attacks
And often, wished to swallow a pill
For you, so that it wouldn’t kill
You and end all your miseries
Your suffering, I wish to drink ‘em all
You hid them all
Beneath your angst
Smiled a big smile at me
Pressing against my migraine
You ran a battle through voices
A slow thump of my headache
You listened to the silence
That healed the pain

“Inshallah” you kept on sending
Smiles that ran across two thousand miles
Clouds and the sun and the bird and the plane.
And the cat.
Rivers. Parks.
I wish we were there.
I wish you were here.
I wish “here” was there.
I wish “there” was here.
I wish “here” was my heart.
I wish heart was ours.
I wish.

I wondered if that’s what love is
I wonder if this is what love feels like
What is love but not caring?
What is love but not fearing?
What is love but not daring?